I'm on fire!
KY Warming Massage Oil should be banned. The label says it's safe for intimate areas.
Whose intimate areas?
Not mine. Not my wife's.
It goes from "this is nice," to "this is pure napalm on my naughty bits" in about a minute and a half. I cried during sex, which my wife thought was romantic and sensitive, but it was really me afraid I was going to be left with a charred nub for a tallywacker. It's like BenGay on your groin. Apparently they did not do enough market research before putting this out for public consumption. Was their test market a sadist and masochist retreat colony?
Have you seen the commercials? They make it sound delightful. What they should show is Mt. Vesuvius erupting and melting the people of Pompeii. Two people sitting on the couch, talking about their love life, CUT TO people running through the streets screaming "MY FLESH IS PEELING OFF LIKE LIQUID SKIN!"
I had a third-degree burn from a motorcycle muffler that felt better.